Pretension as high art (or bad writing) also known as "Look at me! i'm misrable!"
January 02, 2004 3:50 PM
Soundtrack: Counting Crows "a long december"
Oh, this is THE new years retrospective song for me. counting crows, you do it to me, in SO many ways.
Nothing doing recently. Christopher came back last night, and has since been consumed by a frenzy of re-arraingement, and i think he's right. the apathy and entropy in this room is so thick it chokes on it's self. a change, in any and every way possible seems the only thing to do.
Looking back on the past year i'm happy with what has happed in my life. not because it made me happy, cuz a LOT of it didn't (come on, insert your favorite corey-bitchfest. (thats right folks, this is now an audience participation show! yay!))
Soundtrack change: Evanessence, "my immortal" (this song is so sad it's campy. takes it's self FAR to seriously. but it sure is pretty)
I regret letting Kristin Drearborn slip out of my life. i am still intrigued by what makes her tick, and by the scars she still has.
"oh well" he thought, "i will probably never know" (among other things)
Soundtrack change: Iron & Wine, "Bird Stealing bread"
This year lost me a few friends, which is something i'm still not used to doing. I miss missanna. I miss Josieda. I miss Seren. and, god, i could probably rebuild some of those friendships if i tried... but i feel a pull from another direction, and my heart is wary. it hides, lilly-livered and yellow bellied, under my breastbone and dosen't come out to play much anymore. clever little fucker, in't he? ahh, but i'll lure him out one of these days.
Soundtrack change: Gary Jules, "princess of hollywood way"
And then i'll kill him.
and bury the little bastard in a shoebox in the back yard, next to my dignity and self respect. may the three of them rot in the clay forever. while i am free, dancing on the air above them.
"Once i shed the whole of me, then i'll be smiling"
last entry / next entry
last five entries:
bye - January 21, 2004
Pretension as high art (or bad writing) also known as "Look at me! i'm misrable!" - January 02, 2004
Headaches and woodsmoke - December 13, 2003
Blackened hands and burning trees - October 28, 2003
face on the near side of my eyelids. - October 21, 2003
